Washington Post Examines Ways Parents Can Discuss Sex With Children

Main Category: Pediatrics / Children's Health
Also Included In: Sexual Health / STDs;  Women's Health / Gynecology
Article Date: 16 Apr 2008 - 7:00 PDT

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The Washington Post on Tuesday examined ways parents can talk to their children about sex. According to the Post, changes in reproductive technology and increased sexual imagery in news and entertainment outlets have caused many children to ask their parents about different sexual topics at earlier ages, leaving many parents unsure how to respond. In addition, there is a "disconnect" between the Bush administration's abstinence-until-marriage education programs and the "engage freely in sexual behavior" messages that children hear from the media, the Post reports.

Deborah Roffman, author of "Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent's Guide to Talking Sense About Sex," said, "You could do a real disservice with this assumption that you wait until the child asks. The truth is that we've left our children in a vacuum around these topics, and popular culture has just waltzed into this vacuum."

Roffman added, "We have controversies about certain value-laden issues, like abortion, but the values that universally parents want children to bring to their sexual experience are all the same, and they are the values they want children to bring to all relationships. You are teaching your children about life. This is part of life."

A February study in the journal Pediatrics found that teens whose parents had frequent, "open, skilled and comfortable" discussions about sex were less likely to initiate intercourse at a young age. The study, based on a survey of 312 teens and their parents, also indicated that parents who employed a "one-shot 'checklist' approach" to discussing sex had less influence on teens' behavior. Steve Martino -- a behavioral scientist with RAND who led the study -- said, "Parents might think that they can talk about a particular topic once and be done with that topic, but as your child ages and develops and has new experiences, the topics take on new meaning."

Parents "should start talking to children about sex from the day they can talk," Maureen Lyon, a clinical psychologist at Children's National Medical Center, said, adding that teens often are less interested in asking parents about the mechanics of sex and more interested in discussing how to negotiate relationships, how to listen and how to say no to sex.

Experts also have said it is important that parents discuss several sex-related topics with their children, including emotions and different types of physical intimacy, according to the Post (Agnvall, Washington Post, 4/15).

Roffman discussed how parents can talk with their children about sex in a washingtonpost.com online chat on Tuesday (washingtonpost.com, 4/15).

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