The idea that a modern man who is modest and metrosexual has features women find attractive appears to be a myth, according to a new study published in the peer-reviewed journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity. Researchers found that females see modesty and men’s feminine side as a big turn-off.

The authors wrote that adherence to masculine norms (being macho) and stereotypes had been linked to negative consequences for men. They wanted to determine whether it were really true that “liberating men from the bonds of traditional masculinity would be beneficial”.

Rather than confirming recent opinions and suggestions, the researchers found the opposite. Females, it appears, find the rise of non-macho men sexually unappealing. Modesty was perceived as a poor character trait which could undermine employment and earning potential.

The study involved 132 female and 100 male volunteers. They had to watch a 15-minute video of job interviews of male and female actors. Although most of the videos showed people with similar competences for the job, females liked the modest males much less. The male volunteers, on the other hand, were not put off by female modesty.

The authors wrote:

Modest men were perceived as violating men’s proscriptions linked to low status (e.g., weakness and uncertainty), as well as agentic men’s prescriptions linked to high status (e.g., confidence and ambition).

Psychologist Corrine Ross-Racusin, study leader, said:

“For men and women, there are things they must and must not be. Women must be communal and other-oriented, but they must not be dominant. Historically and cross-culturally, men have been stereotyped as more independent and self-focused than women. Women are allowed to be weak while this trait is strongly prohibited in men. By contrast, dominance is reserved for men and prohibited for women. Thus, gender stereotypes are comprised of four sets of rules and expectations for behaviour consist of both ‘should’ and ‘should notes’ for each gender.

The researchers stressed that a man’s modesty is not linked to his chances of getting a job – the report focused on how the sexes perceived each other.

“When men break the gender rules: Status incongruity and backlash against modest men.”
By Moss-Racusin, Corinne A.; Phelan, Julie E.; Rudman, Laurie A.
Psychology of Men & Masculinity, Vol 11(2), Apr 2010, 140-151.
doi: 10.1037/a0018093

Written by Christian Nordqvist