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It's a shame research is needed to prove the obvious
posted by Amanda Williamson on 07 Feb 2012 at 2:44 am
Anecdotally (I'm a counsellor) I can see that many adults' anger problems stem from physical punishment, either from parents or peers, in the form of bullying. The clients reach this conclusion themselves (I am person-centred) as they come to realise that the anger they feel in the here and now is associated with the pain and anger (and humiliation, and sense of injustice...) felt back then.
I was physically punished as a child and it has had an impact on my responses as an adult. I have worked through these and can intercept, through years of practice. It's been hard, and expensive but absolutely worth it.
I have 3 children and have always endeavoured to find more creative ways of using discipline. If I start to raise my voice and feel angry, then I take this as a signal that I am beginning to lose control and that I should take a break, and wait for my frontal lobe to catch up with my amygdala responses. I am also mindful that metaphorically beating myself up for raising my voice isn't going to help anybody. I own up to it, explain to my kids that I had some stuff going on, that all human's are capable and wired to feel anger, and that it's what we choose to do with it that makes us uniquely human. We can use our natural responses of anger to try and educate our kids to regulate their own, by setting an example. Smacking is not going to help a child regulate their emotions. It might stop them pulling the cat's tail/dashing across the street but there are other ways of achieving this.
Through personal experience I can see how easy it could be to pass the aggression down through the generations. Fortunately I can also see how it can be curtailed.
Although it is disappointing in some ways, that we need research to prove the obvious, I am thankful that it exists as this scientific, reductionist world requires that it is so.
http://amandawilliamsoncounselling.blogspot.com/2011/12/anger-management-counselling-in-exeter.html
Read the news article that this opinion was posted about:
A Child's Long-Term Development May Be Harmed By Physical Punishment
physical punishment is harmful
posted by Rebecca Walton on 07 Feb 2012 at 9:13 am
I completely agree. It's crazy though many people who were physically punished then feel it's fine to do. "I'm fine, it didn't mess me up. They need it to get in line." It's hard to break the underlying belief that it's necessary. Many people don't realize that yes, discipline is necessary for children, but the wrong kind of discipline only creates worse behavior in the long run.
Not all Adult Survivors of Abuse act the same
posted by Melissa on 08 Feb 2012 at 8:28 am
This article was very interesting to me on a personal note. As an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse, as the professional like to call it, myself, I just think I had a hard knock life and I am trying not to make the same mistakes my parents did. But I do see some of myslef in this article. I feel antisocial, I dont trust many people, not even the ones I am "close" to, I fight to feel good about myself, to feel worth something. I am proud of myself for no longer "cutting" or trying to take my own life. But I do not have "agression towards my siblings or spouse. I dont have any children but I did raise my niece for few years and I dont think I was "hard" on her - I do know I never wanted to hit her out of fear of repeating the cycle, and I never did :) But I think some people who were abused as children try to avoid conflict. I did for the longest time and only now am I learning it is ok to be "me" and not what I think others expect me to be.I am not sure this article sheds any additional light on long term affects of abuse as much as it portrays victims as agressors once they become adults. I beg to differ - we are not all agressive, and people cope with life in many different ways.
Emotional abuse
posted by Midnight on 09 Feb 2012 at 1:08 am
The smacked backsides I got as a child didn't really bother me - it got it out of the way nice and quickly and I could move on from it - but when my Dad switched to lectures telling me how selfish I was for doing X and how upset it made everyone else feel that's when the damage was done - like Melissa i've just managed to stop hurting myself and am slowly beginning to regain a sense of self-worth... give me the smacked bottom any time!!! And no i'm not violent - but I can reduce people to tears just by telling them off :-( Hate that side of me and work to keep it under control. Who needs to raise their voice when you can cause so much more pain just by stating the "facts" calmly :-( Thanks Dad for teaching me that :-(
Child Protection: Politics over Research
posted by Julie Worley on 15 Feb 2012 at 12:41 pm
AL, AZ, AR, CO, FL, GA, ID, IN, KS, KY, LA, MO, MS, NC, OK, SC, TN, TX, and WY are the 19 U.S. States that allow disciplinary beating of schoolchildren in taxpayer funded schools in 2012, already Illegal in Schools in 31 U.S. States, search "A Violent Education" for disturbing facts!
Mandatory Reporters of suspected child abuse, school teachers, coaches and administrators, legally hit schoolchildren, K-12, with thick wooden paddles, SEXUAL ASSAULT when done to a non-consenting adult, to inflict Pain as Punishment for minor infractions, some states such as Tennessee do not require parental consent or notification for schoolchildren to be "Paddled". Several "School Paddling States" have "Teacher Immunity Laws" to protect school employees from criminal/civil action, leaving INJURED schoolchildren's families NO LEGAL REDRESS!
U.S. Federal Courts uphold outrageous incidents of school paddling and the U.S. Supreme Court declines to hear school corporal punishment appeals.
The practice of school discipline by "Corporal Punishment" is founded upon the RELIGIOUS conviction of "Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child" and FORCED onto taxpayers children in public schools, violating our nation's constitution regarding liberty, equality and "Cruel and Unusual Punishment".
Please add your support to Federal Bill H.R. 3027 to Abolish School Corporal Punishment of Students in ALL U.S. States at donthitstudents dot com
Yes, But
posted by evelyn haskins on 07 Mar 2012 at 7:13 pm
One trouble with research that is based on surveys is the 'chicken and egg' effect.
Does 'physical punishment' cause such behaviour, or does such behaviour in children cause the parents to use corporal punishment on the child??
Speaking as a mother of four kids I know this problem only too well -- people used to tell me that my older son was a problem because I treated him differently -- well, yes I did because he behaved differently. He indulged in aggressive bullying of his siblings and school mates, and he also did many dangerous and destructive things. He had zilch 'impulse control' and I lived in terror that he would kill himself -- racing across busy roads, swimming in dangerous places, lighting fires -- you name it!
He was expelled from his school, from his soccer club and his gymnastic club.
I feel proud that I DID raise him to adulthood -- though he still engages in dangerous behaviour :-(
And yes he is belligerent as an adult too :-(
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