How do women feel after an abortion?
Main Category: AbortionArticle Date: 06 Sep 2004 - 0:00 PDT
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It is normal for a woman to experience a range of emotions after an abortion, such as relief, sadness, happiness and feelings of loss. Each woman is unique. Many women feel that they have made the right decision after having an abortion. For some women, however, abortion can raise negative emotional responses including grief, guilt, anger, shame and regret. Understanding your emotions can help you begin to let go of any pain and start to heal. It is important to recognize your feelings and to take good care of yourself if you are experiencing difficulty. The following information may be helpful if you are experiencing emotional distress after an abortion.
What kinds of things might contribute to a woman feeling distress after an abortion?
-- Hormones are changing back to their pre-pregnancy state after an abortion. This chemical change can make a woman feel sad and emotional.
-- A woman is more likely to feel negative emotions if she felt pressured into having an abortion by someone else, instead of making her own decision.
-- Some women don't receive much support from their friends or family.
-- Social stigmas about abortion can make it difficult for women to share their experience and make them feel isolated.
-- Some women might feel judged.
-- Some women fear that they might never again be able to get pregnant. However, abortion does not interfere with your future fertility.
-- Sometimes the couple relationship is stressed or undermined by the crisis of an unplanned pregnancy. In these circumstances, women may feel abused and/or abandoned.
Any time you make a difficult life decision, it is natural to have second thoughts. Allowing yourself to express any negative feelings that you may be having will help to diminish their impact. Sometimes reading about other women's experiences can be reassuring and may make your own feelings more clear. You can find the stories of several women who have had abortions at: http://www.peaceafterabortion.com/stories.html
Is it normal to feel depressed after an abortion?
Approximately 5% to 30% of women report feelings of regret, anxiety, guilt, mild depression and other negative emotions. If your feelings are overwhelming or persistent, you should consult a professional therapist.
It is rare for a woman to become clinically depressed after having an abortion. There are some risk factors that can contribute to the risk of clinical depression after abortion, such as if the woman has a previous history of depression. Depression is a very serious illness. It is extremely important that you seek help from a professional such as a doctor, counsellor or therapist. CONTINUES……..Canadian Health Network
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Visitor Opinions In Chronological Order (44)
Hurt - after abortion
posted by Joy-lynn on 30 Jul 2009 at 5:24 pmSometimes I am really okay then other times I just break down in tears and there is no one to understand how bad I feel. I never really wanted to get rid of my baby and now it hurts so bad
regret
posted by simone c. on 25 Jul 2010 at 3:44 pmi regret giving mhy baby away but it was mhy momz nd sum otha ppl kept pressing mee..soo i gave it up..nd now i juss stay 2 mhyself nd sumtimes i brake dwn nd cry cuz i feel nowun love mee nd dnt want nuffen 2 do wiff mee anymur..sighhhsss imma miss mhy son
RIP..D.W.H
hurt after abortion
posted by Kate on 26 Jul 2010 at 3:07 pmI just recently got an abortion and I am very hurt. I never wanted to do it, but I had no other choice. I'm way to young to be able to take care of a baby, and my boyfriend was telling me that we'll have a chance when im older, more mature, and have the money and everything to have a baby. So as of right now I'm very upset, and often cry when I think about it..
Feeling depressed and guilty
posted by Ashley on 11 Aug 2010 at 6:20 pmI am married with two other kids, so when I got pregnant on accident naturally my husband and I wanted to keep the baby. But my mom and other close people in my life told me that I should have an abortion because my marriage isn't very stable and I should move on with my life without the burden of another kid. But, my husband never wanted me to abort our child. He was so excited about the pregnancy that he told EVERYONE. I thought for a whole month about it and finally decided that yes an abortion was the right thing. Now, I feel tons of regret, guilt, sadness, and depression. I don't want to see anyone that knows I was pregnant because I don't want to have to explain that I'm not pregnant anymore. I'm ashamed I had an abortion. I think a lot of people look at abortions negatively. I don't have a lot of support from anyone because my husband and I don't have much family nearby. My husband is now not talking to me for the past week since I did it, so I can't lean on him for emotional support. He wants me to "suffer" because I broke his heart. An abortion can have a serious affect on you emotionally AND physically, so you should seriously consider all negative and positive aspects of it before going through with it. I have mixed feelings right now because in some ways I'm glad I'm not having another baby, but in some ways things would have been easier if I just had it. Hopefully these feelings will just get better with time.
It's been 1 year and a half...
posted by Stacey on 12 Aug 2010 at 11:00 pmIt still hurts. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I've known my boyfriend for a while. We've dated on and off. At this point we were together when I found out I was pregnant. I was nervous but excited to hear his reactions to it. Only to find out he was not as happy as I was. He said I set him up, what was he to tell his child's mother, how were we going to raise a child. Everything that was negative came out his mouth. The sad thing about it all was he took me to a clinic earlier in our years when I got pregnant by somebody else and he saw the hurt and pain in my eyes. We are still together but now I question our relationship and if I can truly get pass this. He wants a child now smh, but how am I to feel so happy about that. What is going to be so special about this child that wasnt with the previous one?? It was definitely a tough decision to make and I still feel the pain to this day....
Heartbroken
posted by Mary on 24 Aug 2010 at 8:50 amI had a abortion about 2 months ago. I am still in so much pain. Every time I see babies or women who are excited about there baby I just want to cry. I was planning to keep the baby up till I was 12 weeks. My boyfriend was on drugs and wasn't really around when I Was sick and needed him. I was doing it alone. My mom is really religious and would have probably disowned me. Which I really don't care about what my mom thinks at this point. I was just so alone and miserable. I regret it every single day
Changed minds...
posted by Jennifer on 2 Sep 2010 at 7:19 amAt first, I wanted to keep it and was justifying keeping it because I'm older, first pregnancy, am able to care for it, etc, etc. But when my boyfriend of a year (but he's been my friend for over 10 years) came in and I told him and the first thing he said was, "You're going to take care of it, right? I mean, Karen can go with you right???" Talk about feeling terrible and completely hurt. So I went and had it done and then a week later he said he wished he never asked me to do it and he wanted to have a baby with me.
Don't let a guy make the decision for you!!!
They change their mind like they change their underwear!!!
They are all about "THE NOW" instead of "THE FUTURE"!!
And if that didn't mess with my head...I don't know what did. By no means did he put a gun to my head, but it would have been a totally different story if his reaction and follow up was more along the lines of, "Yay! I'm excited." or "Baby, what can I do for you??? I'll be there for you no matter what." F guys and their penises!
Heartbroken and Devastated
posted by Gabriella on 7 Sep 2010 at 5:16 amI had an abortion about a week ago and have been regretting it ever since. I am 34 years old, but not married. I ended up getting pregnant by my ex that I lived with for 10 years and have been on and off with the past 3 years. When I told him he was quiet at first and shocked,we ended up fighting. He called the next day and told me he wanted me to keep it. Through out the next 2 months it was back and forth. My parents was disappointed and wanted me to have an abortion.
I had no support from my parents and my ex was all over the place. By the 11th week I felt I had no one and was all alone, so I went to get an abortion. I had a feeling I would regret it because all I did was cry while I was there. I just kept thinking how am I going to take care of a baby all by myself. I had an abortion out of fear and I am regretting it so bad to the point I want to get pregnant again. I feel empty and guilty, I have so much anger towards my parents and my ex for pushing me to not have it.
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!
posted by Right on 10 Sep 2010 at 5:06 pmI'm shocked to hear how many women did what was right for themselves at the time and now look back to regret it. You made the right decision, even if you felt others were influencing you, there was a reason you did what you did. There is NO reason to look back with self-hatred and guilt. Our society has a very unfair view of abortion which women have been doing since the beginning of time. It is a completely natural and instinctual process to terminate a pregnancy when you are not able to care or handle the child. Trust me you and the child are MUCH better off in the long run! Love yourself, forgive yourself, honor yourself for doing what was right for you. Please stop acting victimized by the man or your family, this was your decision and yours alone. We choose what is best and we can not blame anyone else for our decisions. You must know deep down that though you don't want to believe it; the abortion was what you really wanted. And that is perfectly okay. It sounds like most of you knew that it wasn't right for your life but you want to feel bad for yourself. It wasn't right! There's nothing to feel bad about! You should not bring a child into the world under negative circumstances.
Miss a part of your life
posted by estela gomez on 22 Sep 2010 at 6:14 amI was two month pregnant . I was so happy . When I got home I told my ex-boyfriend and my parents they were shocked. Later on that night they told my to have an abortion. Said say 'NO' .Then I told my mom you ever give an a abortion when you were 25. Right now I'm go to have this baby . The next day my ex drove up to my house and he told me that if I want to keep it he will brake up with me or if I give an a abortion he will stay with me.
I said to him I don't care what you said I made up my mind I'll have the baby with or without you. It has be 5 year right now and thank to god I has my baby and she is a girl name selena gomez martinez. And again thank to god I has not listen to my parent or my ex right now they are every mad @ me.
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